tennisluv731's Xanga

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 17:30:09 GMT

new xanga: x_Blushn_Rushn_x.

it looks pretty nice and has some cool stuff on it....really pretty music too...haha, I don't think you will be able to understand it unless you speak Russian though.

Latazz

Friday, August 27, 2004

Fri, 27 Aug 2004 01:34:00 GMT

hmmm...lots to talk about.

Just got back in from seeing Kt!! I <3 you, girl!! That was amazing, daymmm I love catching up with close friends..n I missed her sOoOo much! We talked about just everything in life. Friends, summer, good food, current issues, relationships, *colleges* <-that was interesting to talk about...hmmm... We went to "Stefani's" to get water ice...it was soooooooooo good. I got a peach gelati with vanilla ice cream and she got banana berry with vanilla ice cream. It's days like these that you get to celebrate how great summer was/is.

Before that I had a violin lesson with Mr. Beiler and before that I had tennis....OMG! My violin lesson freaked me out just a little bit because he can be really intense....almost like he's trying to make everything like rocket science, hahaha. I'm just like, "I didn't know playing one measure was so complicated, how many more little details do I have to incorporate?" I mean, sure, if it was a huge difference then definitely! It really wasn't though.

Okay...I'm editting this part because there seems to be some misunderstanding with what's going on and I guess what I said leaves a lot of open ends. Steph is one of my best friends. I adore her, she's so great, I really can't say that enough :). There is no telling how much she listens to everything I say. Sometimes, I feel that when I am playing doubles that I don't get along with Christine as well as I would like to and I guess I expect the same kind of relationship that I have with Steph. But, that is really hard to expect when you're not as close to your doubles partner as you would like to be. I hear that Christine doesn't like me too well and says some pretty mean things about me. I wish that would change...In any case, I've seen all the work that Stephy puts into her game, you know?! She's made so many improvements, it's remarkable...really. I'm so happy for her. The one thing she really wanted to do was play varsity top 7. It's all she wants out of the season is just to play a little like she's been working so hard to do. I didn't know if it was fair to say that Christine has put in the same kind of effort that Steph has because Christine has a big wedding coming up ((I don't know if it has already taken place but...)) ..I know that it must be really hard to play a lot of tennis when a parent is getting remarried. My mom recently got remarried and I noticed that it was hard to carry on the same way and pretend like nothing big had happened. Yes, I believe that some things I said in that last entry were a tad confusing and I am so sorry...it's hard to know what I mean if you don't know exactly where I'm coming from.

I have to write more later....sooooo flippin tired. :(/:)

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 22:21:40 GMT

**editz: as you can see...there is a playlist...yummyy. :) When you click on the numbers, it takes a little while to load though..ehh. 6 songs, whoot!

about yesterday...omg!! Okay, at first there was this lady on the tennis courts who was like "The implants are over here!!"...**she starts shaking!!** OMG I was thinking "whoa...you are a nut bag, lady!" I can't believe she said that in front of everyone about her BREAST implants!...I wouldn't have been able to function if I had said that!

after tennis, I snuck out of my house to see Ju. Oo I was such a baddd girl getting out of my house like that. Ju's friend Neil met me at Vito's/Bowling place and gave me a ride back to Ju's house. Hmmmm...funn.

went to my stepbrother, David's, wedding today...sorry I wasn't at tennis stephers :(. I wanted to be there but I couldn't get back in time. There were some interesting statements made at the wedding. For example, "there are no symbols for love. There are so many words for love...etc." Of course I had my books along so I could continue my studying in peace. It was quite nice and the area was gorgeous, it was the perfect day...except..guess who had cramps?! ME! AHHH...no dancing for Jessy. Anyways, David wrote a song and sang it for his bride...of course he recorded it so that he could dance with her while it was playing!! AWwWw. I was so happy for them!! I mean, god, I've known them as a couple for such a long time. Really wonderful people.

Kt, I called you back!! LoL, we can't seem to connect lately!! I finished Pygmalion!! YAY! Go Jessy!

End of editz**

heyy...long week.

Too tired to even begin talking about today, I've lost my stamina.

Didn't get much sleep last night.

I think I'm finding my groove again. Oo YEA!

Haha...more work to do...

I don't have much time to talk.

Got to rehydrate myself.

I threw up again today...wtf?! I never usually throw up... this time I think it had to do with drinking too much gatorade. ((If I don't drink enough I can pass out!!))

Painted a lot this week. The basement walls look very nice, all of youz better come hang out with me in my new basement. I'm a really good wall painter, apparently....I'm just very careful and slow and I make sure that every groove gets painted. Believe me, that is not as easy as it sounds.

The Rode...haha I finally learned how to spell the composer's name!! Sweeet, hahaha. O my. I always thought it was Rhode because that's an avenue here in Haddonfield. Plus, Rode is not a very popular composer!! No one that I've talked to outside of NJ has any idea what that is....of course, my mom knew the whole time.

I'll post more later when I have time and am not so tired.

I love you all,

Jessy

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 16:29:42 GMT

editz 5: I changed up my xanga a little bit.

does everybody like the song?? haha just wondering! It's sad and stuff but my mom loves it. don't let it get you down, just think positively while listening.

I'll post the lyrics in a min.

I didn't sleep last night...watched CSPAN for a while...twas a tad boring but I'll live. Went up to my room again at 6:30 and started 3rd AP Env book of part II summer work. Yummy

editz 4: O My God....O My God.... Do you wanna know why I'm saying that?! I will tell you some of the details now but if you want to know the full reason I'm saying O My God, then call me or email me...whichever you prefer.

So today was the first day I went pool hopping..hmmm. Perfect because no one is ever home next door so they can't catch you and they have this gorgeous, heated, chlorine-filled pool. Buuuuut, they live in England and they have the house next door to us and they NEVER come back. SoOo..I go over there...yes, by myself...I just wanted to see if it was safe so that I don't get anyone else in trouble. Well...for the most part it was safe. Except when... if you wanna know, call me, write me, email me, or you can leave me a comment.

Anyways...this is an email question thingy that I filled out:

>*Full name: Jessica Alexandra

>* Eyes: greenish blue

>* Hair: as some people say 'strawberry' blonde.

>* Height: 5' 6 1/2''

>* Shoe Size: 8 1/2

>* Have tattoos?: no

>* Have piercings?: ears

>* Have a BF GF?: yes :)

>* Own a webcam?: yuppies...:)

>HAVE YOU EVER...

>* Flown on a plane: yep

>* Missed school because it was raining: haha tennis states rescheduled match because it was raining...so yes! How strange is that?!

>* Put a body part on fire for amusement: as gretchen said, "no im not psycho"

>* Had a crush on a friends girlfriend/boyfriend: nope

>* Been hurt emotionally: yes..

>* Had an imaginary friend: nope

>* Ever thought an animated character was hot?: uhhhh...nope

>* Cut your hair: haha yes, I was actually pretty good. Didn't have enough time to go and get it done a couple years back.

>* Had crush on a teacher?: no

>FAVORITE

>* Fav Color: red, orange, pink, blue

>* Day/Night: either

>* Summer/Winter: Summer...Winter makes me shiver...goosEbumps

>* Cartoon Character: nope

>* Fave Food: gotta love your salads

>* Fave Advertisement: ummmm I really dunno.

>* Fave Drink: Dr. Pepper

>* Breakfast Food: cereal...I guess...that's all I have time to make/eat

>* Ice Cream: strawberry :) so yummy!

>* Fave sport: t e n n i s

>WHAT ARE YOU:

>* Wearing: new red tennis dress....sooo qute. Thank you mommy :).

>* Eating: Nothing

>* Drinking: Nothing

>* Thinkin bout: Ju

>IN THE LAST 24 HRS...

>* Cried: not in the past 24 hours but recently...

>* Worn jeans: nope

>* Met someone: yep

>* Done laundry: yea

>* Drove a car: nope

>* Talked on the phone: haha, yes.

>* Kissed someone: no

>* Said "I love you": yup

>* Picked a wedgie?: nope

>DO YOU BELIEVE IN...

>* Yourself: yes

>* Your friends: yes

>* Santa Claus: ehh

>* Tooth Fairy: no

>* Angels: yes

>* Ghosts: no

>* UFO's: lol, not really

>* God: yes

>* Love at first sight?: yes

>FILL IT IN........

>Let's walk on the: hot tennis courts without shoes.

>Let's run through: today's schedule

>Let's look at the: AP books

>What a nice: pen...I dunno.

>Where did all the: students go?!

>How can I: eat squiggly stuff?

>Why can't you: do a chicken dance?

>Tell me: to stop writing this.

>Love me: always.

>WHICH IS BETTER...

>* Coke or Pepsi: coke

>* Scruff or Clean shaved:clean shaved

>* Blondes or Brunettes: I dunno

>* Tall or Short: between the two.

>* Pants or Shorts: shorts...I guess.

>WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX...

>* What do you notice first: smile

>* Last person you slow danced with: Ju

>*Worst Question To Ask: I dunno....really dunno....seriously dunno....whatever. ((no that wasn't the question))

>*Last person you kissed: Ju

>*Last time someone said they loved you: last night.

editz 3: Just finished some more of my AP work...yummz. Omg, it's so L-O-N-G...I did this one very quickly tonight...just for my favorite Katester

Steph helped me out with the second one...very fun...yummay.

editz 2:

I wonder how Katester is doing..Imma call her and see. I hope her tests for the cancer went okay and that she is fine. I'm so nervous!

the books I'm reading for AP Env. Haha fun, fun.

editz 1: this was fun and short to make-

This is probably going to be long. Might even be very long.

There are definitely some issues that I have to address.

First is KT. I can't believe all that is happening to her right now, it makes me so sad. I had a dream about something like this earlier on in the week. I dreamt of how terrible it would be to be young and find out that there was a chance you could never have kids. I don't even know how I'd go about dealing with that with so little to comfort me. At this age, that issue is not something you want to think about. There is so much in life to discover at this age, so much to love, so much to appreciate, so much to wonder about.

I'm not sure if what happened to KT had an impact on anyone else as it did on me, but this is what I know: when someone you care so much about is being burdened by issues that should be out of their comprehension, you would do anything ((including raise money for the surgery or learn how to perform it)) just to make that go away.

I know it's a little strange to be this because I think she is going to be fine ((I really, really hope so)) but she is such a wonderful person and she's so empathetic. I can't even tell you how many times she has listened to my petty problems and tried to help me out with things that were/are really troubling me ((i.e. I'm always getting worried about tests and she's always encouraging me and telling me I will be fine)). She knows more about me than my family. I just feel so stupid talking to her about issues that aren't even all that big in comparison and she has to deal with this with so little help and comfort. There's just nothing I can say that will do anything to help the situation, all I can do is listen. I can't fix a hemorrhaging cyst; it is definitely something I can't make go away and right now, that's all I want to do. I really want her to know that I'll be here for her no matter what happens and that if there is anything I can do to help her or take the edge off of her pain, I will do it to any length it takes.

***KT- after you told me what happened at the gynocologist, I just sat down and cried for a while. You are so strong, I'm so amazed that you deal with half the things you do. Now this has happened. You're only 16 years old...I just don't understand how someone like you can have that happen to them. You don't deserve it. You really don't

Kristin--I really hope all is well with you too. I'm so sorry you were in the E.R...was it food poisoning?! That is ironic that 110 people in a Medical Conference were hospitalized!! Tell me more about what happened.

That was just something that I wanted to share because when I was reading about it, I just stopped breathing. I usually stop breathing when I get a stress attack...those were the times when stress has brought me to the hospital. It looks like I might be visiting the ER a few times this year, haha. You know what I mean? Ahhh I dunno if I can take all the pressure. I know that I must do well with everything or be really upset with myself.

-->Just need some space to remind myself that I can succeed when I push myself really hard.

I'm trying a new thing; it's called a positive attitude, but sort of works. Let me tell you. It works most of the time, but I just have this expectation of myself to not make one mistake. I think most people don't understand that. I have turned tennis, violin, voice, and academics into a personal game, in which I get extremely frustrated with myself. I fight myself and that's sort of weird. I guess it is a good thing to do because it means that you will constantly try to improve and that's all I want to do. I want to be the best I can possibly be. Most importantly, I want to exceed the expectation that I won't make any mistakes by fine tuning the parts of my game/playing/study habits/singing/exercising that are already at ((what I consider)) their peaks. For example, my freshman year auditioning for All South, I came in with an attitude that helped me perform at my best. I told myself that I was going to go for perfect on at least my scales because I knew I could do it ((I had done it before)). I got dangerously close; I got straight 9's ((out of 10's)) on my scales. The reason I missed the ten was because I started to play separate bow strokes when they asked for 4 slurred and I started all of them over.

^ You really didn't need to read all of that, but I brought it up because tennis preseason starts next Wedsnesday the 18th and there is a lot of pressure to out play myself. I want to push myself to limits I never thought were possible to reach. I want to be proud of saying that I invested everything I had in those challenge matches. That's what I did last year. I threw myself out there into competition I didn't think I would ever see. What usually defeats me in a tournament is my mental game. I can get down on myself if I lose just one point. I did notice, however, that if I reassure myself that I have what it takes to pull it off, I usually win the point. Tennis is 1/2 mental...I really need that 1/2.

On to issue number two that has me concerned. Some of my closest friends are going off to college and here I am, unable to do anything about it. Even James is leaving. He's going to Michigan to study year-round at Interlochen ((a place I was accepted to go to, but denied because I couldn't stand saying goodbye to everyone before I left for college)), right now I just don't want to imagine these people disappearing out of my life just like my father did. I know that it's not the same thing--my father stays out of my life because he wants to. Nonetheless it's painful to know that a part of your life, a part of your memories, is leaving. Like the footprints I have walking across the top of my xanga site, I'll always know that memories fade to make new ones. So life is all good, people have to do what they have to and there will always be new faces and different stories to hear. Everyone has to say goodbye at some point in their life. **Mark and Hui Ying are leaving too, but I plan on seeing them when they returns on their breaks. I hope everything is the same and we get along just like old times in orchestra, but then I think it might become this painful awkward silence that makes your heart heavier and your face freeze just knowing that part of you has died with time.

--> I know I talk about people leaving or going excessively, but I am really connected to them and I guess I just want to remember them. I've definitely learned how to deal with it by now,

Third issue is my cousin ((I think she really is crying out for help)). I'm so confused by her sometimes. I don't know what her intentions are; I don't know why she does all of this. It's really shameful and I am really disappointed in her but I love her regardless, you know?! I just don't understand it. Does she mean to wreak havoc on our family?! I think she's trying to dishonor the family and it's really disturbing me and my family. I'm just confused about why she is giving up on herself so much and yes, I am going to talk about it because frankly, she likes this attention, she's almost asking for it. She has such talent and I know that if she really tried hard she could succeed. This is what has been happening to her since she reached the seventh grade: Kristen ((not my orchydorky friend, Kristin, please don't get them confused)), my cousin, shaved the back of her head leaving the top portion of her head with hair. <--not that this is a problem; people are allowed to look/dress in whatever fashion they would like, as long as it is not offensive. She and her boyfriend have been having ((safe **thank god**)) sex since she was 13 or 14 years old, however, she still managed to contract an STD. She has been drinking since she was 13 and doesn't do that well in school because of it. She had mono at age 14. She's tried all different kinds of drugs. Her father hates her for all the nasty stuff she says to him and the way she treats him. She's been fired from several non taskful jobs. She failed out of Community College. <--How do you do that?! Someone please tell me, I need to be able to laugh about some of this. She slits her wrists for no other reason than to piss of her parents, I know this because she always threatens to do it if she doesn't get what she wants. Her boyfriend abuses her and made her so depressed that she got an eating disorder. She totaled her mom's car and bought a new one with her mom's money just to piss her mom off. Then, this is the best part, she got a DUI and was arrested, now she is waiting for arraignment so that she may serve jail time. I don't know what she's doing. Her brother is just fine, he does really well in school and he's an awesome athlete too and he doesn't cause any problems in my family.

I know that last paragraph was sort of an attack on all of the things my cousin has done wrong over the past few years. I dunno...maybe she's just jealous of her brother's success in everything and just wants attention. I really don't know. It's very confusing. I just want to hold her close and tell her that I will love her no matter what, but that's she's hurting me with the grief she causes. I want her to see that positive attention is a million times better than negative attention. I want her to be proud of herself, I want her to let life bring her opportunities to succeed, but most importantly, I want her to understand herself. I want her to know herself. Even though I don't know her all that well and I've only seen her five times in my whole life, but even so, I love her and I want her to appreciate life.

Okay, so my life for the last week.

Tennis season is starting soon....less than one week! Are you girls nervous?! I know I am. Practice makes perfect.

Violin: Hirono is in Japan for the next 5 weeks so I have a replacement teacher. I know, I know, I've already said this.

The *new* Bruch is going well though so I'm looking forward to playing it as my seating audition and maybe even the Concerto Competition.

I start working on the Rode concerto in my next lesson with the Mr. Beiler. I'm psyched for a lesson with him. He's so calm all the time and his students do stellar work. hmmm...All South Jersey this year...hmmm...should be fun, hahahahaha NOT.

I saw Ju on Tuesday which was really nice because I really missed him and wanted to hold him close to me. We played a little tennis and then had some really yummy dinner that his mommy made :) and then other stuff :)... LoL.

The whole webcam idea Ju had is pretty cool because I can see him everyday...really neat. I mean, I know I won't be able to kiss him and hold him close everyday but at least I can see how he's doing instead of just trying to imagine the look he has on his face or what he looks like. Everyday I fall more in love with him.

We had a really nice talk last night. I was trying my best to tell him all the different ways I love him. I'm so bad at sharing how I feel and what I'm thinking about sometimes, but I've always wanted to tell him things, like how I admire how smart he is and how he always tries his best, that he amazes me with all he knows about technology and other subjects, that he is so positive and confident, that he always seems interested, that I love how he cares enough to ask questions, and that he is always so nice. **I'm just not sure I delivered that message as well as I could've last night. I really tried though, but as we all know, I can be a tad confusing to talk with. ((Ju, I made a huge list of all the things I love about you.**

Ju, I really believe you are the most wonderful person in the world and you deserve all the best things life can give you. You're my best friend and I'm so in love with you. Gosh, you make me sOo happy. I can't thank you enough for the smiles you bring to my face. ::kisses you::

SOo...tennis today. What the heck was up with that anyways?! This coach was there and he said that his student which he brought to the clinic, could beat Emily Buzzhart, ummmmm NO! What the heck was he thinking?! That's so messed up. I can't even believe that he would say that when he knows that definitely could never happen! Mitch had Elizabeth Alberto ((a very good player on my team ** 3rd singles** but definitely not as good as Emily **don't confuse this Liz with my 'lil sis,' Liz)) play his student. This guy's student lost to Elizabeth, ummm duh. What was really frustrating was listening to all the excuses he came up with "She's only been studying with me for a few weeks" ((he also said that she has 5 lessons a week and that she had played with other coaches prior to himself)). "The points were really close, they were at deuce and ads a lot" ((NOT TRUE)). I thought it was just that coach, but NO...I was obviously wrong. The student kept saying things like "Oo I would've gotten that but I didn't realize that she was at net until the next shot,"((ummmmm DON'T THINK SO, how can ANYONE do that?!)) "I just came back from being injured" ((She said she had been playing year round and just discovered this amazing coach)). "I'm playing terribly today." "I've never played this bad in my whole life." I was surprised this one didn't come up "The reason I'm not doing well is that my coach keeps talking to me every half second." That would've made the most sense. That's what he was doing the entire time when Elizabeth was playing her. So then we got to play out points with her and she was TERRIBLE...She was like an average player, if not a little worse. Definitely not better than Emily, who is an exceptional player. That coach really was feeding her a crap load of lies...I don't understand it...does it make any sense to lie to your student?! I was hitting overheads and I was really hitting them well because they bounced in and then they bounced so high they went over the fence and they almost hit that coach on the head. Oo you know what else?! He was trying to coach me when I was playing and I'm like "no, you aren't trying to coach me when my coach is right there. Besides, after seeing your *amazing* student, why would I want to try anything you had to say?! He was just so rude I couldn't get over it. Really pissed me off.

I've got a lot of work to do for the rest of the summer so I'm going to stop wasting my time **this took me a good 20 minutes to write**

outz,

Jessy

**editz** I'm going to try to edit more than once a week...maybe like twice or something.

Friday, August 06, 2004

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 02:18:23 GMT

editz** hmmmm more addictive editing in the works... sorry the last bit of that email was so confusing. I don't know what was making me so weird...haha. O wellz. That was quite amusingly funny to read after I wrote it. If I were not so lazy I would do a rewrite but then...I'm lazy and I am not going to do a rewrite.

Anyways my schedule is as follows: Orchy period 1 with the Mouse-y Gouse-y Accel English ((Brit Lit)) period 2 with Mr. Glading AP US History II period 3 with Dr. Burns ¿Math? I'm getting this one switched...I dunno what's up with it right now, they screwed it up cuz it's definitely not right. For those of you who CAN'T spell definitely<--there it is, LEARN IT! gosh lol, I don't want to see anymore d-e-f-i-n-a-t-e-l-y because...........IT'S WRONG!!! Liz knows that, right Liz?! Physical Education period 5 with Mr. Baker Concert Choir/Chamber Choir ((with Mommy Meyer, LoL!))/B Lunch with the Cafeteria Staff, hahaha need I say anything. Accel Chemistry period 6 with Mrs. "Betty" McMichael (( I wanted Dr. Sohn, :( but Mrs. McMichael requested that I be placed in her accel. chem class because I sang at her daughter's wedding!! ahhhhh, help me...I'd rather switch down to regular cuz I hear she's so scary!!!!!!)) with lab period Tuesday AP Environmental Science period 8 with Mr. Smith ((I LOVE this man, he is AWESOME!!! I'm so excited to learn more about migratory birds and such)) lab periods are monday and wednesday.

Other than all that, I talked to Mark Froehlich today!! AWWWW I miss him sOoOo much! He's going away to college this year and I think I'm going to cry. He took me to see my first Plays and Players Musical in Philly. Orchy every Saturday in Philly, damnn straight. We're gonna get together and play some tunes ((literally PLAY them)). We always teased him for hangin out with all the girls. teehehe.

O my. Kt--> GET IN MY ACCEL ENGLISH CLASS NOW!!! NO MORE 7th PERIOD!!! puhleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!!

The most important message on here: Ju

Ever wondered exactly what Bush would put on his Resume? Now Ya know! George W. Bush's RESUME > > > >GEORGE W. BUSH > >1600 Pennsylvania Avenue > >Washington, DC 20520 > > > > > >EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: > > > >Law Enforcement: > > > >** I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving >under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and >had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. > > > >** My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available. > > > >Military: > > > >I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused >to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. >By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid >combat duty in Vietnam. > > > >College: > > > >I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a >cheerleader. > > > >PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: > > > >** I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the >oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. > > > >** I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. >The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I >bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that >took land using taxpayer money. > > > >** With the help of my father and our friends in the oil >industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor >of Texas. > > > >ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS > > > >** I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil >companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. >During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most >smog-ridden city in America. > > > >** I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of >billions in borrowed money. > > > >** I set the record for the most executions by any governor in >American history. > > > >ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: > > > >** I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with >a criminal record. > > > >** I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of >over one billion dollars per week. > > > >** I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. >Treasury. > > > >** I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. >history. > > > >** I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed >in any 12-month period. > > > >** I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month >period. > > > >** I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history >of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 >million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every >month. > > > >** I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of >any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," >Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her. > > > >** I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a >U.S. President. > > > >** I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving >the most corporate campaign donations. > > > * >** My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best >friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate >bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. > > > >** My political party used Enron private jets and corporate >attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court >during my election decision. > > > >** I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against >investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent >investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent >investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. > > > >** I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and >refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry >was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in >U.S. history. > > > >** I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be >awarded government contracts. > > > >** I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than >any President in U.S. history. > > > >** I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest >bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. > > > >** I've broken more international treaties than any President in >U.S. history. > > > >** I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United >Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. > > > >** I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. > > > >** I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of >war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva >Convention. > > > >** I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations >election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election). > > > >** I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of >any President since the advent of television. > > > >** I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any >one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I >presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history. > > > >** I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World >Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. >the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of >diplomacy in world history. > > > >** I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to >simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), >shattering the record for protests against any person in the >history of mankind. > > > >** I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support >a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families >-- in wartime. > > > >** I am the first President in history to have a majority of >Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to >world peace and security. > > > >** I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker >Buster," a WMD. > > > >** I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin >Laden to justice. > > > >RECORDS AND REFERENCES: > > > >** All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my >father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. > > > >** All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and >my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for >public view. > > > >** All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my >Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are >sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. > > > > > >PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004. > >PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW.

done editz**

okayz, lots to talk about.

Tennis...OMG, I love you tennis!! I think it's weird how I've suddenly got such an addiction to tennis again. Hmmm. I dunno but I can't stop playing...I just keep goin and goin and goin. I play soooo many hours. 6 hours each day...not including the fitness I do to get ready for it. O and btw, my overheads will kick your butt...hehe jpjp. But they definitely are getting a lot better this week. I love going to Dave Okun, he's AMAZING. O my, he seriously is. Gary, Mitch and that other lady are awesome too but me and Gary are real chill this week, haha. He's got my back though against this one kid.. know what I mean?! There was this kid there today from Pakistan and he is totally gender biased...what a shovenist pig. He told me he hated me for being a girl and that he didn't have any respect for me. I was like WTH, what did I do?! So anyways, I played him and I beat him. It was like 8-1 or 8-2. HAHA dayumm...he deserved it though. In any case, I look a lot trimmer now...not that it's a bad thing...just, my clothes are fitting a lot more loosely...hmmmm I like being muscle toned!! Yummyness.

AP work: what a monster! OMG I think Imma run off and shoot myself. Seriously, it is really bad. I hate that stupid sand book. I have to start writing entries about the annoyingness. O my. I don't think Imma last long enough to finish it. Ughy.

Violin:...mutes, very useful. Especially when you have to practice with a whole bunch of old people in the same house. But nevertheless, A# minor is looking muy bueno. heheh. jpjp. That scale took me forever and a half to play...it's still not PERFECT! but it's really close.

Politics: Kerry is beating Bush in the polls! Yes!! That really has to say something that the past four year's presidency. Kerry is beating Bush 49% to 44%. Apparently, Nader is still in the running. I'm sorry to all of you who are voting Bush, but all he has caused this country is pain and suffering and economic devastation. We are the ones footing the bill for this war, what is Bush going to do now. I mean, imagine if he sent your brother off to war....or your father. how would you feel? It's not right. Just try to picture someone calling your house to inform you of the loss of such an important person to you. I just wouldn't be able to function. I know that as my brother and I have gotten older, we've grown apart, but I couldn't stand it. I love him so much, you know?! It makes me so sad just to think that my brother could be lost for a cause so unworthy. In any case, I believe that Kerry is more economically and environmentally sound. I also believe that he has better plans for our future. I want to see some peace alliances made with other countries. I mean, the whole world practically hates us now. Something HAS to change. We have a slacker in office, we have to take him out. The thing that drives me absolutely bonkers is that he is completely abusing his power as the president of such a powerful country. We are NOT losing any of our patriotism having Kerry in office. Not mentioning that chosing Kerry would mean having a smarter man in office. Kerry was not the most priveleged man. I suggest you read up on Senator John Forbes Kerry (initials JFK). He attended Yale as well but did much better in terms of his studies. He went out to fight for the country as well and because he is against the war today people are calling him a flip-flopper. He is NOT a flip-flopper just because he saw what this country did to other countries in war and decided to go against it. Kurt Vonnegut once wrote that the only people to understand the brutality of war were those who fought in it. Did our president put his life on the line for his country? Has he put his life in danger?! He couldn't have, he can't possibly comprehend the losses this country has suffered. This war has given us the most deaths since Vietnam...hello?! time to get out of Iran! Stop the murder...stop killing everyone before it's too late. Stop destroying our environment. Stop getting other countries to hate us because of our environmental policies ((did you know that there are forums in Brazil that discuss how America is treating them so badly)). Stop enforcing your own ideas on the country...there is a reason for the separation of church and state--abortion is not for you to call the shots on, it should be up to the people if ANYTHING. Please, somebody, save me from this. I don't want to imagine my brother's name on a draft list. Please, I really am begging you here. Try to understand how much my family means to me, how much the environment means to me, how much peace means to me. I'm sorry to those of you who don't understand...I just needed to say this. It really has changed my life in so many ways. Laters.

Welcome back Ju!! I missed you so much. <3

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Thu, 29 Jul 2004 04:16:36 GMT

*****first off: happy 5 months with Ju. Baby, you make me smile every minute of everyday*****

Haha…ok, so posting is a weekly thing…maybe I won’t post every Thursday but it would be entertaining for someone to look over all my entries and be like “hey, that girl only posts on Thursdays.” I dunno, but there is definitely something about this day that just makes me want to post…hmmm…don’t know quite what it is, but I think it’s because I have a feeling I need to wrap up my week on a Thursday…not that my week ends on a Thursday, I just that I feel like I’ve left all of youz with an empty plate. Someone has to tell me if they actually read any of that. Hmmm. hahaha

Tennis: I’m trying out this new camp with Dave Okun but I’m still going to Mitch so I’m getting a super serious workout and a heavy tan ((unfortunately…silly UV rays go awayz, haha just playin around)). Dayummm like 6 hours everyday though plus I go home and run for like 3 miles. O my. Today I did the usual three hours but that was because I had a violin lesson. It was a good violin lesson too.

Violin: I HATE ARPEGGIOS; they should burn in a fire on the stove in a camp ground in the woods…LMAO. No, they’re just really frustrating to go through because I tend to mess up the fingerings when I memorize them. I can play them looking at the fingerings but if I don’t use them, it’s like having all the light switches off in your house and walking through stumbling into EVERYTHING. O and that silly Rhode concerto…what to say about that…what??

Anyways I totally missed my dad’s birthday and I wanted to call him or see him or something. It’s just terrible to forget about someone who was once a big part of my life. I dunno what to do about that! O well.

Everyone, thank you so much for remembering me!! I love you guys! I feel so loved. I really appreciate it all. Ju, thank you for being the most wonderful boyfriend ever!!!!

x AjsLiLaNgEl *: happy birthday

TennisLuv731: haha thankss ))

TennisLuv731: yipppeeeeeeeeeee

TennisLuv731: lol

TennisLuv731: im like, o my imma be on a cane by 18 cuz i have arthritis at 16!!

x AjsLiLaNgEl *: lol

x AjsLiLaNgEl *: no no

x AjsLiLaNgEl *: silly silly

MEF******: so0o0 wat r u gunna do on ur b-day?

TennisLuv731: i have noooo idea

ViCkIdAChICki**: happy early bday

TennisLuv731: thankkss!! tyty ::grins and winks::

Crashoveride****: happy birth day

TennisLuv731: thankzz Blade20***: happy bday!!

TennisLuv731: smillliiiiieeee

GlitterGirl****: one year closer to the big 1-8!!!

GlitterGirl****: after 18 i'm going 2 think 2 myself, katie stop getting older

GlitterGirl****: but till then i want 2 get older

TennisLuv731: lmao hahhahaa

conversations with people today-

ViCkIdAChICki**: Georgetown university

ViCkIdAChICki**: yup

TennisLuv731: OMG

TennisLuv731: nicccce

TennisLuv731: that’s awesome

ViCkIdAChICki**: i know right

TennisLuv731: esp. for political stuff TennisLuv731: omg TennisLuv731: do you wanna go there?1 ViCkIdAChICki**: yea, i mean, it's a good school, so yeah, i want to go here TennisLuv731: omg ViCkIdAChICki**: but i think Princeton or Duke would be my first choices TennisLuv731: that would be awesome ViCkIdAChICki**: yea i know TennisLuv731: hmmm Duke is really good too ViCkIdAChICki**: i know TennisLuv731: omg TennisLuv731: I’m so excited for you! ViCkIdAChICki**: lol thanks, but it's almost over ViCkIdAChICki**: i have so much homework due this week ViCkIdAChICki**: it kinda sux ViCkIdAChICki**: but it's awesome here TennisLuv731: yeah i know what you mean ViCkIdAChICki**: except when some people start speaking spanish and i dont understand it, or when the turkish people start speaking in turkish and i dont understand it TennisLuv731: HAHAHA what the?! TennisLuv731: lolol ViCkIdAChICki**: yeah, we have turks here, a french kid here (HE'S HILARIOUS) and people from guatemala, dominican republic, puerto rico, madrid ViCkIdAChICki**: it's awesome TennisLuv731: omg, there are turkish people there?! TennisLuv731: OMG TennisLuv731: OMG ViCkIdAChICki**: the french kid has an alter ego named "Super French" ViCkIdAChICki**: yea TennisLuv731: hahaha ViCkIdAChICki**: there's a kid from Russia, but he's lived in the US for a while TennisLuv731: interesting ViCkIdAChICki**: so he speaks Russian TennisLuv731: haha yupp TennisLuv731: hehehe Russian kids ViCkIdAChICki**: we dressed the french kid in a dress, knee high boots, and makeup TennisLuv731: HAHAHHAa ViCkIdAChICki**: (no he's not gay) TennisLuv731: he was willing to get dressed like that? TennisLuv731: haghahha ViCkIdAChICki**: sorta TennisLuv731: hahaha TennisLuv731: that’s hilarious TennisLuv731: o my! ViCkIdAChICki**: he kinda got annoyed about the pictures we were taking, but too bad TennisLuv731: i wish i could have been there ViCkIdAChICki**: my roommate and i did that to him TennisLuv731: hahahahahahhaa ViCkIdAChICki**: he was in our room w/ the counselor ViCkIdAChICki**: it was great TennisLuv731: hahahhaha omgomg TennisLuv731: im jealous TennisLuv731: lol ViCkIdAChICki**: that was last night too, so i remember EVERYTHING ViCkIdAChICki**: hehe TennisLuv731: HAHAH TennisLuv731: you serious?! at georgEEtown?! TennisLuv731: hahaha ViCkIdAChICki**: lol ViCkIdAChICki**: yup i'm serious TennisLuv731: are you gonna go to govy school next year?? TennisLuv731: are you thinkin about govy school?? TennisLuv731: i wanna og TennisLuv731: go ViCkIdAChICki**: im wanna og too. This brings me to the next conv. yummaay TennisLuv731: oh og TennisLuv731: ok TennisLuv731: i get my h's and my g's mixed up Godsmack81685: og Godsmack81685: OG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TennisLuv731: OG! TennisLuv731: oog TennisLuv731: oh og Godsmack*****: OOG??? TennisLuv731: OOg!!! its a longer version of og Godsmack*****: OOOOOOOG OK TennisLuv731: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooggggggggggggggggggggggggg lol Godsmack*****: GOOOOOOO Godsmack*****: oh TennisLuv731: haha Godsmack*****: 0h TennisLuv731: ohgggggg Godsmack*****: do what now TennisLuv731: what? Godsmack*****: oh? TennisLuv731: og? Godsmack*****: no ma'am no TennisLuv731: that sounds so western! TennisLuv731: haha lol!!! Godsmack*****: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhh TennisLuv731: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH Godsmack*****: what about him? TennisLuv731: haha TennisLuv731: can you imagine me being crazy as an adult?! TennisLuv731: hahhaa GlitterGirl****: haha not really TennisLuv731: wheeeeee TennisLuv731: it would be quite amusing though GlitterGirl****: maybe u'll b one of those wacky old ladies u see in the movies TennisLuv731: HAHAHA that actually sounds like me! GlitterGirl****: they're always the good guys though lol not evil and mean GlitterGirl****: & they'er always the secretely smart ones who save the day with some weird herb or something lol LMAO! MEF******: i believe u my lil friend TennisLuv731: what a coinkidinki MEF******: hahahaha MEF******: lol both our names end in "ica" TennisLuv731: HAHAHA TennisLuv731: O my MEF******: hehe haha hoho TennisLuv731: hahha hohohoho MEF******: omg i'm so0o0 hyper TennisLuv731: hehehe MEF******: it's like my hyper day today TennisLuv731: hahah no worries MEF******: lol well.... that's everyday haha TennisLuv731: hahahahahhaa TennisLuv731: dont worry about it lol MEF******: yay!! MEF******: JELLYFISH!!! MEF******: lol TennisLuv731: chickenfish! TennisLuv731: CHICKENFISH MEF******: wat?!? MEF******: o0o0 dear TennisLuv731: o myyy MEF******: don't be like jessica simpson TennisLuv731: hahhahaa TennisLuv731: hahaha MEF******: lol chicken of the sea TennisLuv731: chickenfishin MEF******: o0o0 dear

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 03:24:08 GMT

Edit 5

okay, i'm trying to see how long I can make this entry...try not to get annoyed with me...teehehe.

wanna see how qute this is?! lol ((I was talking with one of my ASTA buddies from last year))

ManchesterUt***: i'm watching the rowan video now
ManchesterUt***: there you are
TennisLuv731: you are?!
TennisLuv731: im on a video?!?!
ManchesterUt***: the pretty girl with the blond hair
TennisLuv731: awwwwww thank you!!!!!!!!!
ManchesterUt***: yeah
ManchesterUt***: anytime

((he was watching the video at the point right before my standpartner crashed into the 2nd violins, lmao))

haha I gotta stop this but seriously...do you know what I've been doing online so much recently...see, there is this SAT prep thing at www.number2.com ((haha isn't that the worst name ever)). Anyways, I took some of the vocabulary builder thingy and I did reallly well for my first time... here's what it was like.

I had NO IDEA what this was...my stepdad did ((I quizzed him)). I dunno why but it stumped me urghhh monkies!!:

The definition of subterfuge (noun) is An artifice employed to escape censure or to justify opinions or conduct; a shift; an evasion..

What the heck is vituperative?! i never had to learn that one! o my garsh.

haha, I knew this one, go figure ((a lot of the words were like this)):

The definition of vivisection (noun) is The dissection of an animal while alive, for the purpose of making physiological investigations..

((did you know that??)) lmao, I know I'm just braggin but knowing that right away made me feel smart. teehehe.

and I got this one right: The definition of pastiche (noun) is A composition made up of bits from various sources..

"During this vocabulary drill, you answered 163 questions, of which you got 146 correct on your first try. Keep in mind that the Vocabulary Builder only contains challenging words, and the better you do, the harder the words become. " ehhh that's like getting a 90 on a vocab quiz...but these words are REALLLLLLLLLY hard. I mean, REALLY. YAY FOR SAT PREP, WAHOOOOO. O man, I'm wirrrrrrrred. Gotta do more..... hehe.

Hmmmm gotta fix that

EdiT 4. God, I'm sooo bored...lol.

Put an X to the ones that apply to you then send it bak and yay lol

Have you ever...

[x] kissed a member of the opposite sex.

[x] rode in a taxi.

[ ] been dumped.

[ ] shoplifted.

[ ] been fired.

[ ] been in a fist fight.

[ ] had sex.

[ ] had a threesome - kissing or otherwise

[x] snuck out of your parent's house. hahaha yes...

[ ] been arrested.

[ ] made out with a stranger.

[ ] stole something from your job.

[ ] celebrated new years in times square.

[ ] went on a blind date.

[x] lied to a friend. white lies count too?? Oo

[ ] had a crush on a teacher.

[ ] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.

[x] been to europe.

[ ] skipped school. my brother has!!

[ ] thrown up from drinking.

[ ] lost your sibling.

[x] played 'clue'.

[x] had a sleepover party.

[x] went ice skating.

[ ] cheated on a bf/gf.

[ ] been cheated on.

[/] had a sweet sixteen. ehhh but i worked most of the day so, sort of...vicki, renee and steph came over and stuff though...

[ ] had a quinceanera.

[ ] had a car.

[x] drove.

Do you...

[x] have a bf.

[ ] have a gf.

[x] have a crush.

[x] feel loved.

[ ] feel lonely.

[x] feel happy.

[ ] hate yourself.

[x] think youre attractive.

[ ] have a dog.

[x] have a cat.

[x] have your own room.

[ ] listen to rap. **I try my best not to.**

[x] listen to rock.

[ ] listen to soul.

[ ] listen to techno.

[ ] listen to reggae.

[/] paint your nails.

[x] have more than 1 best friend.

[x] get good grades.

[x] play an instrument. gotta love your violin! and piano...voice too!! yummy.

[x] have slippers.

[ ] wear boxers.

[ ] wear black eyeliner.

[x] like the color blue.

[/] like the color yellow.

[ ] cyber.

[ ] claim.

[x] like to read.

[x] like to write.

[/] have long hair.

[/] have short hair.

[x] have a cell phone.

[x] have a laptop.

[ ] have a pager.

Are you...

[ ] ugly.

[x] pretty. hehe, i think i am. :)

[ ] ok.

[x] bored. **very**

[x] happy.

[ ] short.

[x] tall.

[ ] grounded.

[ ] sick.

[x] a virgin.

[ ] lazy.

[ ] single.

[x] taken.

[ ] looking.

[ ] not looking.

[ ] talking to someone.

[ ] IMing someone.

[/] scared to die. I know it's going to happen

[x] tired.

[x] sleepy.

[ ] annoyed.

[ ] hungry.

[ ] thirsty.

[ ] on the phone.

[ ] in your room.

[ ] drinking something.

[ ] eating something.

[x] in your pjs.

[x] ticklish. verrrry.

[x] listening to music. yes, it's on my xanga.

[ ] homophobic.

[ ] racist.

Edit 3. pictures from last year's Vienna, Budapest, and Prague orchestra tour ((these are Jen's pictures but JEN doesn't have a xanga...teehehe))....yippie!! I still need to get the choir tour pictures up here, hehe.

caty, mary, laurabeth, mark, louis, and matan hehe awww some of my favorite peoplez.

Jen, Andy, Emily, Fei...a message to Andy: Just because you were a senior last year and were sending out applications, didn't mean you had to leave permanently!! hehe jk im still wishing you luck with everything...congrats on getting accepted to just about everywhere!

male gypsies, yay!! haha i think this was in Budapest.

jen playing another gypsy's violin...haha lol, yay for zigeunerweisen ((spelling?!))

Caty, Laura (hidden behind Caty), Louis, Danielle, Mark, Caitlin, Andy, James ((one of the many)), and Fei

the italian gypsy in budapest playing zigeunerweisen...hehe.

haha, when i sat in the back of *1st* violins ((we were a proud girly section...haha sorry mark **the only guy in our section**))...i couldn't believe almost my entire section was leaving the next year, except fei!!....seniors o3'.

Danielle, Fei, Grace, Caitlin, Joe ((haha, he told us this funny joke about some weird monster that came to visit him the night before but I can't remember the name)), me visiting with one of my best friends, Jimmy ((there is a huge amount of Jimmy's and James' in the orchestra hahaha)). This group is aka "the string dorks." ((okay, so Joe doesn't play a string instrument...he's got percussion covered...haha.

dvorak museum.

caty behind gary ((the conductor)) making funny looking flowers.

masaya watching gary teach jackie how to waltz...lmao. hahaha she was tripping all over his feet. hahaha, jackie, he still luvs ya!

jen playing her violin in prague...haha they didn't give me a chance to play :(. Even though, James, me, and Jen were down there for like 30 minutes...ahhh.

our final performance in Prague ::tears:: goodbye o3' seniors, sniffles...:(.

Andy, Cathy, Jen, Emily "The Philadelphia Bottle Orchestra" hahhaha...good times..:)

EdiT 2. go www.jibjab.com

ooomg soo funny...just got it off of kt's xanga!! OMG hahahahahahhahaha.

edit** today kt and I are going to take a walk down town and talk about stuff...water ice sounds good, I think. I don't mind covering the both of us because I know kt is out of cash...besides, what are friends for?! hehe. I need to see how her life has been goin. I don't think we've seen eachother for like a week or two now. Sheesh, has it really been that long?! O my. LoL

You know what piece I've had enough of...The Rhode violin concerto. That thing is terribly boring....sorry to those of you who like to play it...I'm just not into it at all....I can't believe I have to play THAT for All South ....ugh.

Other than that....I wonder if Victoria is back...I dunno if she is but I really miss seeing her.. I think she's visiting Georgetown (( I think she wants to go there for political stuff, I'm not so sure...all I know is that she's friggin awesome))...:) I hope she gets back soon...we must talk. ((she has a livejournal that I read and she doesn't think anybody knows it but I do...haha..hmmm I wonder if she knows mine)) ever so crafty...jpjp.

Regardless...Hirono is leaving for Japan soon and I get a replacement teacher for little bit. I'm thankful she decided against putting me with Mai Chen who I heard was quite a bit scary...however, she does have the same teaching technique as Hirono. You know what's funny, even though she teaches similarly to Hirono, she charges only $45 ((from what I heard)) and she's the CONCERTMISTRESS of the Philadelphia Chamber Orchestra ((for those of you who don't know what I mean: she's the orchestra leader for the string ensemble of the Philadelphia Orchestra)). How does that make any sense?? Anyways, I think I might be studying with Mr. Beiler ((you know Dave Beiler? that's his dad))...he's really good and he's very calm and relaxed and he also teaches some really really high playing students.

So right now I'm at the shore...gonna go on the boardwalk and lay on the soft sand...I think. Soft sand is very relaxing...AND it helps me when I need to focus on my book and not the other THOUSANDS of things that interupt me when I'm with my family. Ugh.

edit**

alrighty...

:::points and laughs at self:::

I'm so dam* exhausted, it's ridiculous. I am having trouble just trying to stay awake. Not that I really NEED to stay awake, but it might be good for my own sake of acquiring more knowledge...((I'm sticking straight to Mary Queen of Scotland and the Isles...it's very good so far...the only problem I really have with it is there over dramatized description of the baby's 'beauty and grace')). I mean, I really don't have any complaints about being tired because I feel so fulfilled...ya know?! Tennis was a workout and it was more tiring because I didn't bring something to drink for the 3 hours I was there. So I came home and did some serious serious maintenance on the floorboards. I mean, I tore them up and stuff....it was pretty crazy. After that, I did a good 3 and 1/2 hours on the violin. Then I packed for the shore and went down. Got to the shore with some daylight left ((about 7:45)) so I hit at least 70 more serves on the court we have ((this I really needed))...then I did the running drill. I came back upstairs and did another hour and a half which scared my mom because she doesn't want me to hurt my fingers anymore than I have to.

Now I want to go exercise but I'm not so sure...I need an opinion, lol. jkjk

Does anybody know what I mean when I say that it's so hard to put words to love?? I mean, maybe it's just me with this huge problem, but I dunno... I mean sometimes when I try to email Ju back about certain things I spend an eternity thinking about how to phrase things just the right way so that I don't end up with any misinterpretations, or that I can show exactly how much I love him. Tis very frustrating sometimes. Plus, because it takes me sooooooo long to figure out what I'm going to say back, I don't end up writing the email. How silly?!

Last Saturday was the most amazing day ever with Ju...had to post that. I was pretty crazy, twas a lot of fun. **the magic number for that day was two.**

.Gotta go practice the hell outa that violin.

.Laters.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 16:59:46 GMT

IEdit// I think I'm reading the longest book written about Queen Mary of Scotland...urgh...hehe. ya know what I mean?? reallllly long...I will definitely benefit from reading it....not sure how or it what way other than knowing a lot more about Queen Mary but I mean when do I use this information?? I mean WHEN?! haha jpjp it's a really good book though and I'm glad that I'm reading it. Anyone wanna do Glading's English summer work together??! call me: 354-1735 or 354-9114 ughhh Accel Brit Lit...lots of busy work in that class I hear...hmmmm for an accel course you would think there would be some indepth stuff! but noooo">

Steph wrote about it in xanga so you can check it out.

tennis...im just not the same as last week...hopefully the meds will help...haha. Maybe I won't get it all the time.

Need to see some of my friends again, I miss them so much. In particular, the group, Claudia, Tony, Lainy, and Monica too.

Ju came over Tuesday, :). hehe that was fun...but very crazy too ((haha, Ju you know what I mean)). Anyways, I gave him the first part to the poem which I wrote when I was first getting to know him..haha. I wrote one that is more recent and he has yet to see that one. So we ate some stuff at this cafe place and walked back to my house. Greeted by my grandma...crazy lady, haha. She's so smart that she's weird. But those of you who know her, understand what I'm saying cuz she sits down and reads ALL THE TIME...THAT IS ALL SHE DOES. That is basically 99.9% true...if she isn't doing that she is writing, or editing unpublished books and sending them to the publisher. So yeah, she's intense sometimes and she was on Tuesday, sheesh. She could have smiled a little more than she did! Ju, don't worry, she said she likes you very much and that she was glad to have talked with you. Haha, it was interesting to have you meet my grandmommy. ((did you know she's had over five last names?? She uses the most recent step grandad's last name now though..)) **why am I talking about my grandmom??**

Wow, ok, I need to practice now..I shouldn't be here writing this!

Byyyeeeee

Friday, July 09, 2004

Fri, 09 Jul 2004 02:28:50 GMT

You ever get in one of those mixed moods when everything is just off center? That describes me perfectly. It's just that I can't figure out what is wrong with me. I don't know what it is...I think its a bunch of things. My house has been a mess for the last two months because we're fixing it all up.<--this puts a lot of stress on me. Playing violin definitely is another stress factor. But most importantly, summer work. This leads to my next important issue: NEXT YEAR, WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME NEXT YEAR?! I think I'm going to be sent to boot camp or something ((in terms of school, violin, tennis and madrigals)). AHH what am I supposed to do? But the worst thing about being stressed is that when I see Ju, I still feel stressed out and tonight I made him put up with that. This is not fair! God, life can really stink sometimes. Thankfully I wasn't a wreck the entire time. I love him too much to make him put up with that.

Time to update on life. So fireworks with Ju on the fourth were amazing. We went to play mini golf and I tried to get the ball into the *tricky* *impossible* *annoying* hole by hitting it really hard over the bumps and stuff, whatever it was. Wellll, I slammed the ball over the fence and into the street..can we say embarrassing?! That made me blush so much I almost got a headache. We got icecream and walked over to find a spot in front of the river and on a hill. We sat there and just hugged while we watched 2 sets of fireworks, one across the water and a second set right over our heads. Amazing! From there we walked a little to get picked up at this hotel. Ju, thank you for spending that amazing night with me. I love you so much & I always will.

[[Monday]] was back to tennis, hell yes! I was hitting really hard though. There we had a lot of fun just picking a few things to crack jokes at. It was hilarious! Becca's chicken march definitely topped it. Or when Steph told us about an interesting nickname. HAHA. Good times, good times. I was invited to go out with my friends and see the fireworks again but I figured it wouldn't be the same without Ju. And besides, what could top what we had?? n-o-t-h-i-n-g. But needless to say, I love my friends, they are such amazing people. Talked a little to Kyle online about stuff. It was a really good talk. N both him and Kt really like eachother so it's worth an exploration.

OO VIOLIN lesson ((oops, I meant to talk about this earlier)) OMG, I was so happy with how it went! I got so much work done.

[[Tuesday]] more tennis, much better stuff. Practiced a lot on the Bruch and some time on my *new* concerto! It sounds really good. really happy.

**NEW ROOM** this was the day my room was given back to me. SWEET n I really love the way it looks.

Went to the pool with a bunch of people. Kyle picked me up and he showed me the most amazing music. OMG I LOVE his music, it's so awesome. After the pool, the girls went back to Kt's house and chilled in her basement waiting for the boys to bring back the food from **Wendys**<--gotta love it....haha they like left out half our order too! OMG, so mad. haha. We played Karaoke Revolution, fun game...I don't get it though and I really don't know many of the songs. I did go platinum though. Ok w/e haha. So then Kyle pulled Kt aside into a private room so he could talk with her. Then he....asked her out. It's so qute!! At the same time Jeff was asking Tya back out! awwwww. The story is in Kt's xanga, omg it's so qute..:) Congrats Tya and Jeff! You and Kt will have the same anniversary, how sweet?!

[[Wedsnesday]] Tennis and Violin and Renee and Steph. Talked to RENEE, omg haven't talked to her in like a month and stuff. We were trying to plan on getting together. RENEE!! We only have one year left, omg I can't believe you're a senior and now you don't have ANY time to visit! N I dont have any time either. OMG I could cry.

Anyways, thankfully Steph and I got to see Fahrenheit 9/11, haha 3x is a charm. HAHA I'm so buying the DVD. [[KT I RECRUITED 4 MORE THE LAST TWO DAYS]] yummy. That movie is so awesome. Glad I got to see it with you Steph.

[[Thursday]] Today was awesome because I saw Ju. I know I was stressed out..but Ju, baby, I love you. I know that I would've been so miserable to not seeing you. It's hard to describe all that I feel and I know I keep promising you that poem but I sent that email yesterday and I didn't want it to be like an overload.

<<>>About the night<<>> I played some of my violin for Ju tonight. Damn, I was so nervous. I was even more worried about the condition of my house. It really looks bad right now because of all the construction...well my room looks really nice, but that's because I fixed it to the way it was at the beginning of the year. I showed Ju my new room :). Afterwards, we left to go and get something to eat. None of the places to eat dinner were open or served something we wanted to eat. Hehe. Sheesh, I was being all cranky and stuff too. But of course, when I'm with Ju, it's impossible to be anything but happy so my mood changed. [[I'm so in love with him]]. We walked over to 'Three Beans', grabbed a cookie and something to drink and found the benches at the library. For a while, we were at the library..Ju, you know I love kissing you. I don't remember the time that we left, but I knew that we had 10 minutes ((or so)) before his parents were due to pick him up :(. Didn't want him to go either.

Well I gotta go now.

.Bye.

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 03:30:53 GMT

alright. that word describes how I'm getting through life.

Events: Tennis: up a game and a break against mandy, then mitch told me to stop playing...DAMN IT!..I was doing so well and she's so awesome too. O and another thing I didn't mention was playing against Ju--I love you babi, thank you for putting up with my crazy stuff on that court.

Liz's house: OMG i love that trampoline and the pool...whoot whoot.

Shore house: Definitely fun on the first day with Liz...damn...then the 2nd day it was like wth!! this guy came by and talked with my family on weird issue stuff, about how to fix problems ((ummm,yeahhhhhhhh whatever, hehehe))...this was my aunt's idea, not my mom's...thank god. HAHA. He said he went to Temple for business and he was the most terrible speller I have ever seen....WHAT AN IDIOT...he spelled geography this way: giography. Then I said I was interested in academics and he was like "how do you spell academics?" I was like OMG OMG OMG. STUPID!!

Talked to Kt and Alex online and stuff ((first time I was on in a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggg time)). I was angry cuz I missed skating...stupid violin lesson and shore house caused me to miss it. :( Kt's pretty mad about some things that are going on in her life right now and I really don't blame her.

So for good news, I think I'll see Ju tomorrow <3. I was worried that I wouldn't because of my practicing and stuff...need to do a lot with my arpeggios....uck, they're so messy.

More later....hopefully.

N I'll post more random pics later too...those are fun.